April Yap Up
It's always two divas telling each other exaaaactly. And that’s EGGZACHLY what this is. You and I are those divas.
Hey gorg! Welcome to my Substack. This is EGGZACHLY, which I hope to release every month. I am going to loosely take inspiration from the R.E.P.O.R.T. trend on social media to structure EGGZACHLY. Using Reading, Eating, Playing, Obsessing, Recommending, and Treating as jumping off points to summarize what I have been getting into. Except for the E… You know how some folks say “the ‘gram eats first” or whatever? Could never be me. By the time I think to snap a photo, I have already started eating whatever is in front of me. Also, you probably wouldn’t want to see how much Cinnamon Toast Crunch I consume.
Let’s start by chatting about the books I read in April. I read nine books – please clap. I suffered a tragic reading slump during the month of March and thought I’d never read again. I want to talk about a few of my favorites from this month.
Coexistence: Stories by Billy-Ray Belcourt
A brilliant collection of stories about searching for connection and intimacy in a colonized world told through the indigenous perspective. Some are about love while others are about loneliness. Some contain the horrors of being human and some showcase how beautiful being human can be. Belcourt shines the brightest when he is writing about where queerness, intimacy and connection meet. He just really gets it. He writes with a tenderness and confidence that sweeps me away every time. I know I am in great care when I am sitting with Belcourt’s work and Coexistence was no exception.
Favorite stories from Coexistence: Lived Experience, Poetry Class, Literary Festival, & Various People.
Thank you so much to W. W. Norton & Company for the eARC on NetGalley.
Funny Story by Emily Henry
Funny Story starts out with Daphne about to marry her fiancé, Peter. They moved to Peter’s hometown, Daphne has a great librarian job, and their life is about to begin! But then Peter confesses he is in love with his childhood best friend Petra. Peter and Petra – it’s giving ick! Peter calls off the wedding while Petra breaks up with her boyfriend Miles. With no connections and nowhere to go, Daphne finds herself roommates with Miles. You see where this is going?
I had such a good time reading this. I loved the forced proximity and opposites attract tropes. Emily Henry has this incredible gift to present tropes in ways that feels fresh and new. For example, the chaotic start that led to Daphne and Miles to becoming roommates. This was a fantastic hook at the beginning and something I hadn’t seen done before with the forced proximity trope. And Miles? Smash. That man loves his community and smoking a lil weed. I felt that.
However, the word “chortle” was used a lot. Daphne LOVES a chortle. You’re probably asking how many times it was used. At first, I was like “hmm don’t see that word often, what is that?” and then kept reading. The second time I was like “okaaay, I think I know what it is through context but not 100%.” Then the third and fourth chortles appeared, and I was too embarrassed to look it up – I was in too deep. Then enters the fifth chortle. You win EmHen, ya got me! If you didn’t know, a chortle is a breathy, gleeful laugh. It’s like nobody wants to chuckle these days.
Thank you so much to Berkley Publishing for the eARC on NetGalley and to Libro.fm for the ALC.
They Called Me A Lioness by Ahed Tamimi and Dena Takruri
Ahed Tamimi is a Palestinian activist, and this book is an intimate look into what her experience was like growing up in occupied Palestine. What this young woman has endured her entire life is beyond comprehension and what’s even more incomprehensible is that her story is one of MANY about Palestinians experiencing extreme violence at the hands of their oppressor. This book is an excellent entry point into understanding what is happening in occupied Palestine. Ahed describes the history of the region, her experience as a young child in the West Bank, and her imprisonment for slapping an Israeli soldier trying to protect her brother who was being taken by Israeli soldiers. She was sixteen when she was arrested. When she tells the story of the night she was arrested, my heart shattered for her and her family. It is never too late to start learning about what has been happening and continues to happen in occupied Palestine. I highly, highly recommend this book. The audio is exceptionally done.
Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
I actually don’t know if I have the words to do this book justice, but I love everything about it. When I say everything, I mean everything. Pacing, tone, plot, themes, dialogue, characters, format. It all really worked for me. I see this being my favorite book of 2024. Cyrus is one of the most endearing characters I’ve had the pleasure to meet on the page. I feel like this is one of those books where the less you know going into it, the better. There are layers to this story and I find peeling back the layers as you’re reading a story like Martyr! leads to the best reading experience. Let Kaveh take you through Cyrus’s story with his lyrical, jaw-dropping prose. Trust me.
Independent Bookstore Day happens in April and I obviously celebrated. I visited Charlie’s Queer Books in Fremont and picked up Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova and Your Driver is Waiting by Priya Guns. Monstrilio is one l've had my eye on for over a year and the paperback has finally arrived, my time has come. Your Driver is Waiting actually chose me. It was the last one I saw on the shelf and she's pink and paperback, the double P, a DP - oop! I knew we were meant to be.
I have been playing a lot of Pokémon recently. This is not breaking news by any means but the number of hours I played in April is bananas. I have been playing Pokémon since the Red/Blue days, but a better way to put it would be that I have been willingly possessed by these games since 1997 when I got my first Gameboy – a Gameboy color in translucent purple, iykyk. During the month of April, I was feeling nostalgic so I pulled out both my Nintendo DS and Nintendo 3DS to revisit some old favorites.
Heartgold (2009): Heartgold and Soulsilver are remakes of the 1999 Gameboy Color games Gold and Silver, but they contain elements from Crystal. Crystal happens to be my FAVORITE Pokémon game. Gold/Silver/Crystal marked the end of Generation Two entries to the Pokémon list of video games (excluding remakes, obvi). Generation Two also introduced shiny Pokémon into the game – shoutout to the Red Gyarados at the Lake of Rage. This is likely because Gold/Silver/Crystal were the first games made for the Gameboy Color, which (you guessed it) introduced color to the screen for gameplay. Playing earlier versions of Pokémon does something to me on a chemical level and Heartgold was the perfect game to start over to curb my craving for nostalgia. I played nearly 20 hours in April and have a *questionable* team at the moment. My current lineup, which is very much subject to change, is:
Quilava, level 31, named Sizzle. I am currently living for the word sizzle. It sounds exactly like what it is. What we really need is a Onomatopoeia-nomenon! A what? ONOMATOPOEIA-NOMENON!!!
Togetic, level 33, named Yoshi. Listen, I know, I know. Egg, Yoshi, I am full of original ideas.
Weepinbell, level 29, named Ozempi. I named her when she was a Bellsprout because I was picturing what would happen if Victreebel (Bellsprout’s final evolution) started taking Ozempic, and it would be a reverse evolution: Victreebel→Weepinbell→Bellsprout. I didn’t think I would keep her beyond the first gym, but she slays so she stays.
Poliwag, level 24, no name. I taught Poliwag surf, but I want a Starmie as my primary water type. However, I refuse to teach my queen Starmie HM moves like surf, she’s better than that. I am using Poliwag for surf and then going to dump her back in the PC boxes. She’s cute but she is no Starmie. You can’t compete where you don’t compare. Poliwag? More like Polislag, amirite?
Onix, level 19, named Rocky. I didn’t name him, I traded a Bellsprout for Onix in Violet City. I must make it clear; I did not name the rock-type, snake Pokémon Rocky. I low-key hate Rocky and sacrifice him when I need to heal my other babies in the middle of battle.
Mareep, level 1, no name. Mareep is one of my favorite Pokémon. This Mareep just hatched out of an egg I was carrying. I have been breeding Mareep and Ditto at the Daycare and collecting eggs to hatch in hopes of getting a shiny Mareep. The shiny Mareep is purple, and it is not a want but a need.
X (2013): X and Y marked the first installments in the sixth generation of the Pokémon games. I chose to replay X because there is a new Pokémon Legends game coming out in 2025. Legends: Z-A will be the second Legends game released in the Pokémon franchise and after the triumph that was Legends: Arceus in 2022, I am on the edge of my goddamn seat waiting for Z-A. “How does this relate to X?” Great question, Z-A takes place in Lumiose City in the Kalos region, which was introduced in the 2013 games X and Y. In anticipation for the upcoming Legends release in 2025, I went back to the source material. I have to say, X and Y got a lot of hate when they came out over a decade ago and I don’t get it. These games are FUN! These are also the games where Mega-Evolution was introduced, like hello??? That was a moment! I played over 40 hours in the month of April, and I stan my team during this playthrough. My current lineup is:
Charizard, level 62, named Chad. Charizard is a Chad to me, always has been and always will be.
Tyrantrum, level 57, no name. I really enjoy the evolution of Tyrunt into a Tyrantrum. It’s like watching a baby turn into a toddler and have a tantrum, but it’s a T-Rex.
Roserade, level 57, named Leslie. Leslie is a mother’s name. Roserade mothers. This was simple.
Lucario, level 58, named Luci. Lucario to Luci is incredibly original, but I stand by this choice.
Lapras, level 55, named Ramsey. I happened to be playing this game while Next Level Chef was on in the background. This Lapras is named after Gordon Ramsay. But as I am typing this, I realized I misspelled my Ramsay when naming my Lapras. What a shame.
Staryu, level 47, no name needed when you’re that cunty.
I am currently obsessed with and would reccomend:
🎵Cowboy Carter – Beyoncé
🎵The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess – Chappell Roan
🎵My 21st Century Blues – RAYE
🚶🏻♂️Long walks in your neighborhood
🧋Iced strawberry green tea with boba
🧽ScrubDaddy PowErase Gel Universal Household Cleaner
Thank you for being here 🩷
Zach... the chortle section made me cry. "It’s like nobody wants to chuckle these days."
I am just…obsessed with you