This is EGGZACHLY, my monthly newsletter. A place to yap it up because it's always two divas telling each other exaaaactly. And that’s EGGZACHLY what this is. You and I are those divas.
Remember when I posted my May Yap Up at the end of June and said June’s Yap Up would be out the following week? GOOPED YA! I am a liar. June was bananas. I was booked and busy. Let’s get into it.
I didn’t read a single book in the month of June. I repeat, not a single book was read by me during Pride Month. Even typing that out is shocking to me. Homophobic? Absolutely.
Heartgold: I played 12 hours of Heartgold this month, which is just over double the hours I played in May. I have acquired all the gym badges from the Johto region and am currently training to beat the Elite Four. In my opinion, the Elite Four are much harder to beat in the earlier generations than they are in later generations. I think this has to do with the Exp Share. In the earlier games, Exp Share can be given to one other Pokémon in your party as a held item, so the total “experience” gained from battle is split between the Pokémon who battled and the Pokémon holding the Exp Share. Starting in Generation IV, the Exp Share is a Key Item stored in your bag that you can turn on/off so that the “experience” is shared between all the Pokémon in your party. I caught Ho-Oh at Bell Tower, which is very legendary (pun intended). This is also the first update where I do not have an egg in my party. Training for the Elite Four is serious business and I cannot be mothering an egg during this time. Shiny Mareep, I’m coming back for you baby, I’M COMING BACK FOR YOU!
My current lineup is:
Togetic, level 34, named Yoshi. Yoshi is still here. I am not sure why. I kind of hate him. I will not be taking him to the Elite Four because I will not have him in my lineup when I become champion.
Dragonair, level 33, named Owen. Dragonair is one of the most beautiful Pokémon in any generation. Truly incapable of not serving. I named him after the Owens sisters in Practical Magic because I was watching Practical Magic when I caught him as wee little Dratini. Owen as Dragonair is giving Nicole Kidman as Gillian Owens “hang onto your husbands” tease.
Weepinbell, level 38, named Ozempi. Still need that leaf stone to evolve this diva. In Heartgold, the only way to obtain a leaf stone before beating the Elite Four in Johto and moving to the Kanto portion of the game is to participate in the Pokéathlon. This feature was introduced in Heartgold/Soulsilver and it consists of Olympic-style events your Pokémon can compete in. I hate sports, but for Ozempi to be the screeching goddess Victreebel before we face the Elite Four, we will be competing.
(Shiny) Gyarados, level 44, named Shai-Hulud. Shai-Hulud, second of his name, queer superstar, guardian of the Lake of Rage, and destroyer of every other Pokémon’s self-esteem.
Typhlosion, level 39, named Sizzle. Final evolution achieved. I love that the fire around his neck is apparent in this game. I hate that the fire around Typhlosion’s neck in Pokémon Go is absent. Typhlosion in Pokemon Go looks like Rufus from Kim Possible – iykyk.
Ho-Oh, level 46, named Veep. Veep as in the HBO show, as in the Selina Meyer played by 11-time Primetime Emmy Award winning icon Julia Louis-Dreyfus (6 of those Emmys are for playing Selina Meyer). Exactly.
X: I only played 2 hours of X this month so there isn’t much of an update. I am just about to head to the Elite Four. More on that in July’s Yap Up.
My current lineup is:
Lapras, level 65, named Ramsey. Ramsey is an icon.
Staryu, level 57, no name. I have obtained the water stone and will be evolving this diva before we take on the Elite Four.
Roserade, level 67, named Leslie. Mother.
Charizard, level 69, named Chad. I lowkey am over Chad, but that Mega-Evolution… really cannot be beat.
Gible, level 27, named Girliechomp. I wanted a new Pokémon because I was bored with my lineup. I am very proud of naming this girliepop. Gible’s final evolution is Garchomp, so Girliechomp is where I landed when I caught her. Clever girl.
Pangoro, level 41, named Po. I actually caught a Pancham at the beginning of the game, named her Po because Kung-Fu Panda, and then put her away when I got the Lucario (Luci) who could Mega-Evolve. Luci was a flopiana, so I went back to the PC and withdrew Pancham, and then she evolved into Pangoro, and here we are.
Before getting into the big moments of June that kept me so busy, let’s yap about what I watched. My partner and I started Veep, hence the inspiration for Ho-Oh’s name above. It is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. I cannot believe I haven’t watched it before, and watching it right now is so bizarre because the road leading up to the election in the United States this November is straight up out of a Veep episode. If you have not watched this show, I highly recommend.
Please also enjoy a selection of my Letterboxd reviews from the month. My Letterboxd reviews were a hit in my May Yap Up, and by hit, I mean one (1) person told me they liked these. Hiiii Lena! 👁️🫦👁️
So, what else happened in June?
WWC: I finished a writing class! The class is called Writing With Confidence and I am so grateful to have been able to be a part of something so special. The class is seven weeks long and it is designed to help writers “step into their identity.” And baby, that’s exactly what I did. Haley is an incredible teacher who provides honest and thoughtful feedback for her students. The community I made in class uplifted me every week. Haley has created a space where community, art, respect, and love come together to bring out the very best in your creative self. I left this class with my soul recharged, my heart overflowing with love, and a healed relationship with my writing. Before this class I never shared my writing with others, but now I can’t shut the hell up about it – I actually launched EGGZACHLY while in this class. I have never been more sure of what I am supposed to be doing with my life than I am right now – I am a Writer. The only way to sign up for this class is by subscribing to Haley’s newsletter, which you can do on her website linked above.
Arizona: I visited my brother and his partner in Arizona at the beginning of June. He lives in Flagstaff, which is a cute mountain town ~2 hours north of Phoenix. We had a really good time together. We went to Williams, ~30 minutes west of Flagstaff, where we rode the Canyon Coaster and visited a tiny museum dedicated to fossilized dinosaur poop lovingly called the “Poozeum.” We also hiked in Sedona. Sedona is beautiful and it was wonderful to hike in an area that is vastly different than the Pacific Northwest. Everything was so… red. We saw a snake but it wasn’t a rattlesnake. I am glad we didn’t run into a super poisonous snake, but I also wanted to see a rattlesnake so I could sing “baby let me rattle that snake with my venom, denim on denim on denim on denim, give you high fashion in a simple white tee, give you these blues it’s in my jeans,” because snakes deserve to hear Cowboy Carter. We drove on Route 66. Route 66 is one of the original highways in the United States spanning 2,400 miles across two-thirds of North America. There is a song called Route 66 and the lyrics are so camp. They take you from beginning of the route to the end of the route as if you’re on a road trip. Like, they kind of ate with that. I just know Americans in the 1940s were poppin’ their pussies over this bop. The song has been redone many times since its debut. It was originally performed by Nat King Cole with the King Cole Trio, and since then it has been performed by legends such as Natalie Cole, The Rolling Stones, Depeche Mode, and The Cheetah Girls. I also had a step-grandpa growing up that always wore a “get your kicks on Route 66” trucker hat and I wanted that hat so bad. He also had a trucker hat that said, “no hurries, no worries” and I always found that hilarious because I am always in a hurry and I am perpetually worried. I wish I had both those hats now. Needless to say, we definitely got our kicks on Route 66.
The Gayest Thing; an anthology:
I was asked to write a piece for a Pride anthology curated by THE Nic Marna. When Nic reached out to ask if I would be interested in writing for his anthology alongside himself and nine other incredibly talented queer writers, it was truly a “sounds gay, I’m in” moment. Each writer contributing to the anthology was given the prompt “the gayest thing about me…” and asked to respond in 300 words. I wrote about a list I keep in my phone. I had a lot of fun writing it and I am quite proud of how it turned out. These writers were clocked in honey! I am in awe of every single piece in the anthology, and I urge you to go read the anthology from start to finish. To see my name with these amazing writers is something I will never forget. I want to thank Nic again for asking me to be a part of this and creating a safe space for us to be unapologetically queer. Nic, you are one in a million and I am so lucky to know you. I have linked the other writers below so you can support their work.
🌈Allison Billmeyer 🌈Billie Black 🌈Jeanne Cassiers 🌈Carly Corman 🌈Catie Davis 🌈Calista Finn 🌈Gracie Jenkins 🌈Nic Marna 🌈Catherine Merritt 🌈Callan O’Neill
Old Enough Paperback Tour: I moderated my first author talk. I never imagined being approached to moderate a Q+A, and with an author I admire and respect so deeply no less. Haley approached me and asked if I would be interested in moderating her paperback tour stop in Seattle in collaboration with local queer bookstore Charlie’s Queer Books and the Seattle Public Library. I’ve never answered an email so quickly (don’t tell my job). Old Enough means so much to me and it is a book that I wish had existed when I was a young queer man figuring my shit out – I am still figuring my shit out, but I am referring to the earlier shit, the “early 20-somethings, confusing, weird, chaotic” shit. To sit next to Haley and discuss her artistry was such a gift. After the Q+A, while Haley signed copies of Old Enough, we made friendship bracelets, had Shirley Temples with a gorgeous charcuterie spread, and did a “Beat the Seattle Freeze” scavenger hunt – it was the most perfect evening and the coolest bookish event I had ever been to. Thank you to Haley and her team, Charlie’s Queer Books, and the wonderful folks at the Seattle Public Library for allowing me to be a part of something so magnificent.
A Decade: My partner and I celebrated 10 years together on June 23rd. Can you believe? I met him when I was 21 and he was 19. We met on Twitter by browsing the hashtag “#GaysThatRave” and realized we would both be in Las Vegas for Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) in December 2013. We were RAVERS back in the day. He lived in Texas, and I was in Washington, and doing long distance was not something I had planned on. We chatted online, sent each other care packages, skyped, texted and talked on the phone for months leading up the festival. When we finally met in person on the Las Vegas strip in front of Caesars Palace, it was love at first sight. I asked him to be my boyfriend during an Above & Beyond set as the song Satellite played on Day 3 of EDC. I remember hearing the lyrics “you're a half a world away, but in my mind I whisper every single word you say, and before you sleep at night, you pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite,” and I knew, I just knew, this man is going to change my life. And the rest is history. I could write and write and write about our journey together until the keys on my keyboard stop working. He is my rock, my soul, my everything. Paul, I have loved you from the moment I met you and I will love you until my dying breath. Thank you for loving me, for seeing me, for supporting me, and for the best 10 years of my life. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our decades together.
That was my month. Busy but blessed. My heart is so full and my spirits higher than Kacey Musgraves hitting a gravity bong. Thank you for being here 🩷
This is a beautiful yap-up, but I'm sorry we MUST discuss you finding Saw a COMFORT MOVIE?
!!!!!! Oh my god you were so busy 🥵
I’m stuck on the poozeum of it all. Gagged me for sure!
Also… what a treat to be one of your June highlights 🥹 ILY 🩷